Love and Marriage

         When you take away the classes and the extra curriculars, college is about relationships. We build friendships and working relationships with our peers and professors and many of us find ourselves in at least one romantic relationship during our college years. Psychology professor, Dr. Nicolle Mayo specializes in relationships, specifically in family and martial relationships. She’s even licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist Associate  and in Texas where she moved her from in August.

            When she moved here with her husband, she marked her 13th move and it marked the third time she’s lived in PA. Growing up in a military family made moving a familiar task, but why choose to leave Texas and come to Pennsylvania when most of her family is living over 2,500 miles away in Oregon?

            “Mansfield reminded me of where I did my undergraduate degree at Western Oregon University,” said Dr. Mayo, “I really liked the mission of the school and the core values. More importantly, I liked that the professors are encouraged to form out-of-classroom bonds with their students and get know them as people.”

            This shows in Dr. Mayo’s teaching style as well.

            “I like when students are able to apply material to their lives and can relate to what they’re learning. I find this helps them understand the material better as well as retain the information they learn in class. I love teaching and seeing students “get it” is the best part.

But how can Dr. Mayo help us with our relationships, especially with our romantic relationships, when we aren’t married? She says that a huge part of relationships and how we are when we’re in them began with our family; we use what we learn from family in other relationships we develop. We continue these patterns unless we increase our awareness of them and make an intentional decision to change them. All of us carry some “baggage” with us, which not only affects how we communicate with others, but the overall the health of our relationships.             Makes sense. But just because we have trouble communicating about little things doesn’t mean we would need to go to counseling. Most of us aren’t even married!

            “There is a stigma that you have to be married, in a romantic relationship or have children to see a family and marriage counselor but that’s not true! Our field is more about couples talking with someone who is a specialist in all kinds of relationships. By seeing a marriage and family counselor when you have a small issue, you can help to prevent yourselves from entering a position where “it’s either we break up or we go to counseling”.  Counseling doesn't have to be a last resort. It takes courage to go to counseling; you aren’t weak.” said Dr. Mayo.

            Her point brings a strong tie to what her advice for college students is, which is something I mentioned in my previous blog about COM professor Ms. Bia Bernum.

            “Students need to remember to pursue things they’re passionate about. Schedule time in your day or your week to do what you love. When students forget to do those things I find that my students become too stressed because they’re not stepping outside of their student responsibilities. Part of your student responsibilities is taking care of yourself, mentally and emotionally as well as physically, because being well isn’t just about not being sick.”