Love and Marriage

         When you take away the classes and the extra curriculars, college is about relationships. We build friendships and working relationships with our peers and professors and many of us find ourselves in at least one romantic relationship during our college years. Psychology professor, Dr. Nicolle Mayo specializes in relationships, specifically in family and martial relationships. She’s even licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist Associate  and in Texas where she moved her from in August.

            When she moved here with her husband, she marked her 13th move and it marked the third time she’s lived in PA. Growing up in a military family made moving a familiar task, but why choose to leave Texas and come to Pennsylvania when most of her family is living over 2,500 miles away in Oregon?

            “Mansfield reminded me of where I did my undergraduate degree at Western Oregon University,” said Dr. Mayo, “I really liked the mission of the school and the core values. More importantly, I liked that the professors are encouraged to form out-of-classroom bonds with their students and get know them as people.”

            This shows in Dr. Mayo’s teaching style as well.

            “I like when students are able to apply material to their lives and can relate to what they’re learning. I find this helps them understand the material better as well as retain the information they learn in class. I love teaching and seeing students “get it” is the best part.

But how can Dr. Mayo help us with our relationships, especially with our romantic relationships, when we aren’t married? She says that a huge part of relationships and how we are when we’re in them began with our family; we use what we learn from family in other relationships we develop. We continue these patterns unless we increase our awareness of them and make an intentional decision to change them. All of us carry some “baggage” with us, which not only affects how we communicate with others, but the overall the health of our relationships.             Makes sense. But just because we have trouble communicating about little things doesn’t mean we would need to go to counseling. Most of us aren’t even married!

            “There is a stigma that you have to be married, in a romantic relationship or have children to see a family and marriage counselor but that’s not true! Our field is more about couples talking with someone who is a specialist in all kinds of relationships. By seeing a marriage and family counselor when you have a small issue, you can help to prevent yourselves from entering a position where “it’s either we break up or we go to counseling”.  Counseling doesn't have to be a last resort. It takes courage to go to counseling; you aren’t weak.” said Dr. Mayo.

            Her point brings a strong tie to what her advice for college students is, which is something I mentioned in my previous blog about COM professor Ms. Bia Bernum.

            “Students need to remember to pursue things they’re passionate about. Schedule time in your day or your week to do what you love. When students forget to do those things I find that my students become too stressed because they’re not stepping outside of their student responsibilities. Part of your student responsibilities is taking care of yourself, mentally and emotionally as well as physically, because being well isn’t just about not being sick.”

Where everybody knows his name

Dr. Chris Bridges

        Mansfield is a little bit like Cheers. We're a small school and mostly everyone to knows your name. One name that every student knows is Dr. Chris Bridges, the Associate VP of Student Affairs and Dean of Students.

          The popular Dean joined MU in November 2012, and has given the Student Life department a face lift. Dr. Bridges interacts with students on a daily basis and knows our names too. Every Monday he eats lunch in the student cafeteria and sometimes the entire Bridges family has dinner there. His wife and three younger children have also become a huge part of the Mansfield, both on campus and in town. So what can I share with all of you that you may not already know about Dr. Bridges? Probably not much, so I decided to let him do the talking.

What made you want to take the job at Mansfield last year?

            “Coming here met both my personal and career goals.  I was looking to expand on my responsibilities and I wanted to do more good for more people and I saw that opportunity here. I loved Mansfield as a school because I’ve worked at all types of schools, community colleges, small private institutions as well as large public schools and I felt like Mansfield was the combination of all of those things. I’m a first generation college student and I like that Mansfield offers a small, community feel as a public school. It’s incredibly unique in that way.”

What is your favorite tradition or program that you’ve been to in the past year?

Who knew humans and zombies
could get along?

            “My favorite program is easily Humans vs. Zombies. I jumped right into playing last spring and was amazed by the student dedication and excitement about the game. It’s a really fun time and I was very happy when the President decided to play during the fall semester. We’re already looking forward to the spring.

            The tradition I’m most excited about is the new Leadership Celebration. This month will be the first one held on campus but we plan to hold it annually in the future. I read the 78 submissions and the stories of incredible things people are doing on this campus are so fantastic, I can’t wait to share them.”

What would you say is your biggest accomplishment in the past year?

Dr. Bridges supporting student
Carlos Rodriguez's campaign
"Javier Melodica"

            “Since starting here, I’ve been rebuilding my team which has been a huge accomplishment. More importantly though, I’ve gotten to know so many students on campus and I’m enjoying being part of the Mansfield community.”

If there is one thing students would be surprised to learn about you, what would it be?

            “That I dropped out of law school. I went to law school for a year and a half and planned to work as a mediator or with the under-privileged. I made the very difficult choice to drop out because I realized that I couldn’t do the things I wanted to and make as great of an impact on people being a lawyer. It was one of the hardest choices I’ve ever made, but I have never regretted it.”

If there is one thing you want students to know about life in college, what would it be?

            “Make choices out of love not fear. Don’t decide to do something because you’re scared of what will happen if you don’t do it. Make your decisions because you’re excited about the choice and you love the choice you’re making.”

What is the biggest change you’ve seen at Mansfield over the past year?

The HvZ group on the turf after the last battle of the week.

“President Hendricks. It’s been a hard year for the community here, but he’s helped us rally together and I’ve seen a renewed sense of community from students, faculty and staff. There is a new energy and a feeling of ‘we can do it together’ which is really incredible. He’s brought a sense that you can have fun while you’re working which was really seen when he joined in the Humans vs. Zombies game.
What change do you hope to see in the next year?

            “I want to see us to continue to better tell our story. Mansfield is a great place and we really have something special here. It’s time that we tell people outside of the Mansfield campus and greater community about how incredible this place is and that’s what I want to see continue and most importantly grow over the next year.”

She may sew, but don't ask her to hem your pants.

            Students say she’s honest, critical, and by the book but communication professor Bia Bernum is also creative, technologically savvy and passionate about sewing. Technology comes easy to her which is seen by looking at one of the many websites she’s help to design, by keeping up with her on Pinterest or by following the COM Dept on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.

Ms. Bernum on her trip to Germany
with the MU History Club.

            As for her creativity and passion for sewing, her students see this everyday without even realizing it. The bags she carries from class to class are handmade creations in both design and construction. Why design your own patterns when you can buy a pattern to use over and over again?

            “If it doesn’t work, design it yourself.” Ms. Bernum said simply. “When I started teaching sewing lessons, I realized that patterns were poorly written and more importantly it was hard to find easy to follow patterns that were able to teach specific skills.”

            And she’s right! Patterns are really hard to follow, especially when you’re a beginner and what becomes the simplest instruction once you know what you’re doing sounds as though you’re trying to read Finnish. But if reading patterns is hard, designing them must be harder.

Ms. Bernum designed and created
the top bag after she saw the
bottom bag online.

            “It’s my favorite part of sewing. I like to think about what the end bag or piece will look like based on what my needs or my friend’s needs are and sketch it out.” Said Ms. Bernum, “I love the challenge of designing patterns.”

            She started teaching sewing in 2009 when she opened her store in Corning, NY. The classes she taught were focused around skills, which differs from other sewing studios.

            “Most times, you go to a class and when you leave you’ve learned to sew one thing. When I taught classes, I taught a skill each time through a piece. That way, attendees walked away knowing how to put a zipper into whatever they were doing at home.”

            In 2012, due to her success, Ms. Bernum closed her store. Because of success? Who has ever heard that! Ms. Bernum said that because her store became so successful, she had hired staff to teach classes during times she was unable because of her teaching job.  When her staff started moving away or getting full time employment elsewhere, she closed down.  No worries, she’s been able to keep her store alive though through the creation of her blog, Ms.Elaineous.

            I started sewing in high school, and unfortunately haven’t done much of any since I started college, but after visiting Ms. Bernum’s blog a few times in the past couple of weeks, I’m ready to go buy a sewing machine with my next paycheck, or ask for one for graduation. The blog offers a tutorial section helping readers with simple sewing tasks like backstitching (a very important technique which keeps your creation from falling part) to the more complex sewing lessons like how to make a ruffle.

The Ms.Elaineous blog homepage
which Ms. Bernum designed herself.

            Ms. Bernum is always encouraging her readers and shares her struggles of putting something together with them. She insists to her readers that with a little patience and hard work, they’ll be able to achieve their sewing goals. After having her as a professor earlier this year, I can say that this is also true of Ms. Bernum when she’s talking to students.

            “I model my sewing and academic teaching after each other.” Ms. Bernum said. “I relate skills to the prerequisite classes students take. You can’t do calculus without knowing algebra, just like you can’t tailor clothes without knowing how to construct them.”

            Most importantly though, I found Ms. Bernum’s story of why she returned to sewing to be the best piece of advice a faculty member could give student.

            “I realized that the core of who I was had become my job and I needed a different outlet.” Ms. Bernum told me. “I started sewing scarves and bags and selling them at the arts festivals in New York and Michigan. When I stopped selling there, I opened my store.”

            Remember that as a student, our jobs are to go to class and to put effort into our education but that we need an additional outlet for when we’re stressed or just need a break from our main focus. For Ms. Bernum she sews and designs patterns, but as a past student who learned the hard way, don’t ask her to hem your pants.

Meet Ben Auger

        Welcome to the first issue of The Scoop, a blog about faculty and staff at Mansfield University.

         Tucked in an office near the front desk of Sycamore Hall, you’ll find Ben Auger, the Residence Hall Director. If he’s not there, it’s because he’s sitting with the student working at the desk, or assisting the Sycamore maintenance and cleaning staff.

            When he took his job, Ben moved 900 miles north from his home in Savannah, GA. Why trade the sun and mild winter temperatures for snow filled, sub-zero temperature days?

            “I liked that Mansfield was a small town and that the university was small as well.” Ben said. “I felt as though there was a better opportunity to get to know people and impact students. Finally, the authenticity of the school and the people who interviewed me sealed the deal.”

            Around the building, you hear students saying “The guy who directs all of the RA’s (resident assistants)…” when referring to a conversation they had with Ben. So what makes someone want to be “a director of the RA’s”?

            “I was a RA for three years during my undergrad at Berry College. After spending a summer working on campus, I realized that after graduation continuing to work in residence life would give me the ability to have the biggest impact on others with my skill set. I realized that I wanted to work to help make people’s lives what they wanted them to be and to help put them on the path to success.”

Ben Auger, Sycamore Hall Director

            It must be hard being an “RA director”. As an RA myself, I see some of the daily duties of a residence hall director and it doesn’t seem easy. “One of the biggest challenges in my time at Mansfield so far,” Ben said, “was meeting my staff on the first day of RA training in August. I hadn’t met any of them before, and they had only been told my name so it was strange to be a supervisor to people I had never met.”

“Another challenge has been figuring out the culture of Mansfield and navigating the difference between a small private school and a small public school,” Ben said.

            But sometimes it’s all fun and games, most nights Ben can be found at the desk with the RA’s. They watch movies hold intimate discussions and sometimes Ben will beat a level on their computer game. He’s even taken quizzes telling him which Hogwarts house he belongs to (Hufflepuff, but we’re not sure the quiz was sound) so that he can join in the conversation.

            I encourage all students to stop by and meet Ben. If you ask nicely, he may be willing to take a quiz to tell him which Panem district he would have been from. I’m guessing he could fit anywhere, but Districts 3 and 6 are my top choices.